Reflections
by ShadowEcho197
Summary: On the eve of battle, Ashley and Liara share fears, memories, and uncertainties of what is to come. Set in ME3, just before the assault on the Cerberus base. Just a little idea I wanted to share. Mentions of Fem!Shep/Liara pairing.


Reflections

AN – Hey everyone. First off, I'd like to say thanks to everyone who has been leaving me reviews. I read them all and you guys are awesome! Well, I'm a HUGE Mass Effect fan, so I thought it was about time I wrote one about it. I felt that in ME3 Ashley didn't have anywhere near as much squad interaction as everyone else so this is an idea I had of what a conversation between her and Liara would be like (I'm using a playthrough with a FemShep/Liara pairing as the basis for this fic). Hope you all like it! Drop me a review to let me know what you think! Please?

DISCLAIMER – I don't own or claim anything. Mass Effect and all its wonderful characters belong to BioWare. The beautiful poem "Anthem Of Doomed Youth" is the work of Wilfred Owen.

/

Ashley Williams sat in the mess hall of the _Normandy SR-2 _doing absolutely nothing at all, and she didn't like that one bit. Commander Shepard had done some last-minute errands on the Citadel and now she was on the planet Ontarom in the Kepler Verge doing a mission for Admiral Hackett. She had taken Lieutenant James Vega and Garrus Vakarian with her, leaving everyone else behind to wait restlessly on the ship. EDI was probably going over the _Normandy's _systems with Joker or Samantha, she had no idea what Liara was doing and Tali was, um... _indisposed_ right now. Ashley had helped the commander carry Tali (who veered between slurring nonsense and hysterical giggles) to a bunk in the crew quarters so she could have a rest and hopefully wake up sober. Seeing Tali in that state reminded Ashley uncomfortably of the time when Shepard had walked in on her lying on the floor of the observation deck, miserably fighting a losing battle with a hangover. At least Skipper had seen the funny side of it.

Ashley didn't exactly blame Tali for drowning her sorrows. Seeing what they had on Horizon had been difficult. Ashley felt a surge of rage when she thought of what those Cerberus bastards had done to innocent refugees there. After they screwed everything up on Thessia too, Ashley looked forward to the day when Shepard would put a bullet through the Illusive Man's skull and end that organisation forever. Ashley trusted Shepard's judgement, but she still couldn't shake the hate she had for Cerberus and everyone in it.

Ashley almost jumped when she heard the door of the XO's office slide open. She turned to see Liara walk out of the door and towards the elevator.

"Hey, doc." Ashley called after her. She wasn't sure why she did it.

Liara turned around and gave a small smile. "Hello, Lieutenant-Commander."

"You don't need to pull up my rank on me, you know."

"My apologies. As you humans say, 'old habits die hard'."

Ashley laughed and Liara sat down on the seat opposite her. There was a small silence as Ashley struggled for something to say.

"So... You got everything ready?" _Lame. So lame, Williams_.

"Well, I think everything is as ready as it will ever be." Liara sighed.

"I know the feeling. Don't know how many times I've been down to the shuttle bay to get my weapons ready." Ashley swallowed before looking Liara in the eyes. "I, uh, just wanted you to know that I'm sorry for... for what happened on Thessia. I saw what the Reapers did to Earth, so I can only imagine what it must've been like down there."

Liara couldn't quite hide the sadness on her face, but she gave the Alliance officer a brave smile. "Thank you, Ashley. Though from what I hear, you and Tali had quite a reception waiting for you at Sanctuary."

Ashley clenched her fists. "Yeah, it was horrible. Thousands of people looking for a safe place to hide and they get turned into those... _things_. Cerberus is gonna pay for everything they've done."

"Agreed. Once Shepard returns, we can use that tracking device to get to their headquarters and finish this."

Ashley gave a weak laugh "And then, all we've got to deal with are some giant killing machines. No problem."

There was a brief silence before Liara suddenly asked "What do think our chances are, Ashley?"

The lieutenant-commander sighed. "Honestly, if it weren't Skipper leading this thing, I'd say the odds aren't exactly in our favour. But I think everything Shepard's in charge of ends up being a suicide mission, and she managed to pull them off too. I mean, it's not like there won't be any losses at all, but... I believe in her, Liara. I believe she can do this. No more doubts for me anymore, not after what could've happened on the Citadel."

"You know Shepard never blamed you for that."

"I know. That makes it even worse."

Liara's gaze shifted to her right, and Ashley followed it so she found herself looking at the memorial wall opposite them. She studied the names on it; some unknown, some familiar, and some that were personal enough to be painful. She succeeded in burying the rush of emotions that flooded through her when she looked at Kaidan's name.

Ashley turned to Liara again and brown eyes locked with ocean-blue ones. "I hope to God we don't have to put more names up on that damn wall."

Liara nodded, not trusting herself to answer the soldier. Her mind was whirring with the unbearable thoughts of Shepard being taken away from her again. She couldn't return to the place where she'd been in the two years of the commander's absence. She didn't like the person that she'd been then; the woman so hell-bent on vengeance she nearly lost the one thing she cared about most in the world.

"Are you scared for her, Liara?" Ashley probed gently. "'Cause I am."

"Terrified."

Ashley tried to think of something comforting to say. Shepard had never talked to Ash about her relationship with Liara but it wasn't exactly a secret, even in the days when they were on the _SR-1 _and Liara was a shy, socially-awkward scientist who stuttered whenever she said something embarrassing (which used to be often). Ashley used to find the idea of embarrassing the asari amusing, but now she had nothing but respect and liking for the scientist- turned, um, Shadow Broker (OK, that part still weirded Ashley out). From what little she gathered from her commander, Ash knew that Shepard cared deeply for Liara. Hell, she took on a damn _yahg _for her. If that wasn't love, Ashley didn't know what was.

"Those two years, Ashley..." Liara began suddenly. "I can't go through that again. Not now. Not when we're so close, and we haven't had enough time yet..." Liara's soft voice almost broke during the last part of her sentence. Liara was surprised at herself for keeping it together, but she could only imagine the Alliance officer's discomfort if she started to cry.

"I know it's not the same but... That time was hell for me too. I finally got promoted but I just felt _guilty_. I felt guilty as hell because she was gone, and so was Kaidan, and I was still here. I prayed for them nearly every day," Ashley admitted. It felt odd, but strangely relieving as well. She had only ever talked to Shepard about this kind of thing before. "Sorry if I'm trying to make comparisons, I just... I mean, Shepard, she was, she was more than my commander; she was my friend, but I know that you..."

"Ashley," Liara smiled. "It's fine, honestly. I appreciate it. It wasn't easy for anyone."

"But you... love her, don't you?"

Liara met Ashley's gaze with a steady one of her own. "I do. More than my own life," she whispered.

Ashley opened her mouth to reply when the elevator door slid open smoothly. A very harassed looking Garrus exited it and made his way to the main battery, rolling his shoulders as if his joints were stiff.

"Hey Garrus!" Ashley called. "How were things done there?"

"Better than I feared, worse than I hoped, to quote our old krogan friend. Cerberus still giving us hassle."

"But you were successful, were you not?" Liara asked.

"Naturally." Garrus smirked. His face suddenly grew serious. "I saw Shepard go to the video link. Traynor said she's going to tell Admiral Hackett that we're going to get the Illusive Man and his minions. We'll probably head to Earth straight after." He paused to let his words sink in. "I better go get ready, took some nasty shots back there. Good luck, you two." He continued on his way to the main battery.

"Well, I guess this is it then." Ashley said rather shakily.

"So it would seem." Liara replied in a subdued voice.

Ashley stood up at the same time as Liara. "I, uh, better get started on my duties then. Alliance still hasn't made rifles that maintain themselves. After this is over, I'm calling bull on that one. Spectre authority and all that."

"I... have a lot to do as well. Forces will need to be coordinated."

"Well, I know one person who's stress levels are probably sky-high right now. I know it's selfish, but I really don't envy her right now."

"Neither do I, but I don't think she should be alone."

"That sounds like a good idea. She'd probably appreciate your company more than mine." Ashley laughed and Liara smiled back at her.

"Been quite a journey, hasn't it T'Soni?"

Liara laughed. "That is has been."

"Thank you. For listening, and being a comrade, and... And a friend." Ashley held out her hand.

"It has been my pleasure, Ashley. And I have to thank you too." Liara took Ashley's hand and shook it, in the traditional human gesture of respect and friendship. They both turned and went in their separate directions; Liara to her office, and Ashley to the elevator. The lieutenant-commander thought about the coming battle, and couldn't help but think of her dad's old poetry.

"_What candles may be held to speed them all? /Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes / Shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes." _Ashley whispered under her breath.


End file.
